ONE of the most common problems that hitting someone along life is self-confidence. Specifically lack of confidence itself and in their own actions.
Thus, acting without believing that it will succeed. The major problem is that it starts with the thought that he can not succeed, he does not know what you should do, how to do it. And anyway will go wrong. And this will turn into a prophecy that evidently will be fulfilled. And the next time you start and hit the road with less confidence, doubting and more that could succeed.
So you lost even before it begins. The outcome is known beforehand.
How can confidence be developed?
1. Accounts your successes so far.
I put this first because I consider the most effective way to increase self-confidence. Both immediately and especially long term. Especially in the moments when you’re down and depressed. Awareness and writing of past successes in a journal of successes bring a reliable and immediately jump drives you to action. Let’s do something new. That will bring small successes, which become the basis for a better self-confidence. And it drives other kink future. Which gradually become larger. It’s like a snowball that rolls on snow and add the snow just touched it.
We have often issues that we are somehow ashamed. It may be that we are a little over weight limit (obesity). Or that we do not know to behave in certain situations and make mistakes. We like or not how we look. Can we consider inferior to those around us think she looks much better. Everyone has those details that make us feel uncomfortable. More or less. Usually, however, we “pull“ us, without us stop for a moment and ask ourselves:
- Why do I feel uncomfortable / inferior in such situations?
- How Exactly I feel?
- What – concrete and specific – it generates these feelings?
- What – again, concrete and specific – if would be different if (and how), this feeling would not exist?
- What – you guessed it, concrete and specific – should i change to be in another situation?
From the beginning, however, it starts with accept this situation. And accepting the fact that you could be otherwise.
More specifically you are a little plump. Well, actually you’re really obese. Then go out every day and walk around 15 minutes. Over a week, stop walking, but running easy 5 minutes. Another week runs over 15 minutes. Then 30 minutes. Or pays a coach that you make a concrete plan and follow you if you stick to it.
From the start, but start recognizing that you took too much weight on board and you do not like how you look. And then you try different solutions. Another example: inappropriate behave in different situations and make mistakes. Grab a book about good manners and behavior in public. Call a friend who has more experience, tell him I want to discuss something with him / her and ask her advice over coffee. Go out in public as often as possible until you feel comfortable in such situations. It will take time, but in time it you will evolve (if you work).
I think you get the idea. Everything can be changed. Everything can be improved. Start recognizing you have a problem.3. Adopt a confident posture.
General attitude and posture affects energy levels and self-esteem. I’ve seen it countless times when we organize job interviews: candidates frightened, bowed, stepping dragged. From the start it raises questions.
Watch what positions you have to form the habit of not walk with head down, with your shoulders bend, though stooped by the burden of your problems. Keep your back straight, the face, head up. Correct yourself every time you see stooping. As will become a posture that you take instinctively.4. Use motivational materials.
How to motivate yourself and how well you maintain your motivation is one of the basics of personal development. And significantly influence how much confidence you have in yourself and your actions. How much trust do you have in the words you speak , how much confidence you approach with others. Therefore find your source of good quality to give you daily motivation. Especially if you have a low level of self-confidence
- Put motivational images as desktop wallpaper on your computer or Facebook cover. To see them on the screen all day.
- Listen music that motivates you.
- Watch motivational movies.
- Form your daily habit of watching motivational videos.
- Read inspirational books which can provide daily motivation. You can start with books such as The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho or story Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach.
It would be excellent if we take confidence it just within us. In reality what surrounds us affects us significantly in this point of view. And a pleasing appearance affects the confidence we have in ourselves. What we see in the mirror changes the way we perceive ourselves. And the people around us perceive. Am not an expert in the field, but I recommend you pay attention to details such as:
- size of clothes you wear (to be your size, neither too big nor stuck to you)
- the type of clothes you wear (to match the environment in which you spend your time and events that you attend)
- colors you wear (be nice to harmonize with each other).
You can ask advice of friends that you like how they dress. Or you can learn to dress according alone.6. Learn.
To become better in what you do you need to raise your level of competence. Effectively to know more in the field.
Whatever your occupation, certainly there are workshops where you can learn more about the field, online courses or workshops held by experts. There are websites and blogs where you can learn more for free. There are books, videos or audiobooks. Reading a book is one of the simplest activities can significantly increase your level of competence.
Become better in what you do, learn.7. Stand up and speak.
Anytime you get a chance, go out and speak to the public. Fear of public speaking is one of the most common fears (I read somewhere that it’s like the second, after the fear of death). Exercise to face your fear of speaking in front of people will help you realize that any fear is only in your mind.8. Learn from the mistakes you made.
Making mistakes is not a problem. To repeat indefinitely can become. That will do to put yourself in position of inferiority in comparison with those around you even before you start. And when you start something you considering yourself inferior questioning your ability to succeed. Conclusion: very likely that you will not succeed. And you can forget about your confidence in what you do.
Start a journal simple, if you do not already have one. Notes in ot the experiences that you go through. The successes you‘ve had, but the mistakes you have made to. Honestly and objectively. What generated those mistakes? What – concrete, specific and precise – of your conduct has generated everything? What you could do better next time? And at the first opportunity diligent to do so.
Pay more attention to the language they use – when you talk or think – about you.
Eliminate as soon as expressions like “are beasts” (using for example “are very clever I did that” with regard funny), “I’m fat as a pig“ (use for example “are pretty plump, must quit for a while cakes “). It reminds me of a friend from USthat is considered “a little fluffy.”
Always hunting patterns of negative thoughts. And replace them with others that have a positive intention.
Additionally, I recommend you add a low dose of humor, you take a little leg. Someone said (I do not remember the author) “not to be too serious. from life no one escapes alive “
Learn to reframe all negative expressions against you, with more neutral and containing a dose of humor.10. Look at yourself in the mirror and smiles.
It will help that? Maybe. If not, at least you see someone online. Am I wrong?11. Beware of seeking perfection.
Do not try to become perfect in everything you do. Many times consume effort to achieve “perfect” things that were not required at that level of quality.
First, perfection is a concept. In principle it is not tangible, otherwise we could not aspire to it. Sure, it’s normal to aspire to something better and better. Nice to have a house, a better car, to be better dancers. We take a long vacation (what I keep thinking I few weeks, but I do not think I will succeed this year). Like everything else in life, it is necessary to know us and stop. Where to hunt the “best” and “perfect”? Not a problem to hunt perfection. But this requires you time, energy and money. And at some point no longer worthwhile. Consume much time or energy or money to accomplish something that does not deserve all these resources. In short: learn when to stop. Sometimes good enough.12. Exercise.
If it is possible daily. It will help you get out of the mind and emotions. To get into body.
In a few words, the movement leads to increased secretion of serotonin and endorphins in the body, while decreasing cortisol levels.13. Do not confuse noise with confidence.
If you become noisy, tupeist – or boor – you’ll only cover your lack of confidence. When you are alone, you will find yourself again with your insecurities and lack of self-confidence. Now you can tackle things further in two ways:
- you keep for a lifetime to remain noisy as to hide your insecurity.
- you will stop from cover uncertainty by noise. This version is more difficult and will require you to face fears at a time. maybe you will pass over them and you will overcome. It depends on how much you work at this.
In most cases the correct training before starting something increases the chances of success. So when will you get into a situation where you do not have self-confidence, prepare well in advance. Think about what you want to achieve, why and how you can do better.15. Accept fear of failure as something normal. Not as bad.
Fear of failure is intended to mobilize up for a challenge. To raise your energy level and attention in front of something difficult. Or just an unknown situation. This is not bad, it’s just a part of us. Part of you. There for you to go mobilize action and not reach failure. And no, you will not die if you face it. If you accept as a normal part from you.
Are much more to say about developing confidence in you and in own actions. See the book “Earn trust you now” by Paul McKenna. These are just a few ideas that fit many situations and you might help.***
What is your experience related to increased self-confidence? Tell us about it in a comment below the article.